I have read my mother, she thinks that I don't know her, but, I know her, remember I am the sissy in the family and what do sissies do? They LISTEN, and they listen to the ladies, and they learn things from the ladies.
Some of us are so fascinated by the ladies and especially their clothing. How soft, black wool skirt, taffetta lining, and when left alone, a beeline is made for that skirt, dig? Oh, to feel that skirt so soft on your body is absolute ecstasy, like your in heaven, and nothing can replace that, not even the wrath of god can make me stop. I also feel that I can be a "friend" to the ladies in a way that their husbands or boyfriends know not of, and in this way I am not a threat to their husband, for I am LIKE one of the "girls." I know, I am always stuck chatting with the ladies, I feel shunned by the men at times, even if trying to be interested in their sports. What if I spent that time upstairs dressing and THEN came down and seduced them?
So, would I be considered a "bottom" or a "top" I don't seem to feel one way or another, sometimes a "top" and other times a "bottom"
So, it is like, do we know ourselves, right...... Do we doubt ourselves, another YES........ should we, NO, a thousand times NO!!!
It's interesting to me that at 62 years old, that I am the daughter in the family. The daughter they didn't know they even had, and if brought up this way, mother will deny it, for she was sure she had a male baby. They do not know how right I am, ha, ha. Mother has her wits, because she had to deal with witless Father, all her life.
She is the only one that I could even attempt to come OUT to, My Father would never understand, or know what it is, he would laugh ha ha ha ha. So, no worries there, the devil in me as thought of showing up stairs one evening dressed as a female nurse, what would he say? he'd "think" there was another woman in the house. I just don't want to scare them, chicken me, what harm would it do, bring some cheer into the house?
Today, this would not be a real problem, or maybe it would, We, know so much or "think" we know. The 50's were a time that we didn't talk about these things even in school, we went there ignorant, came out ignorant. The little "leave it to beaver" generation, middle class suburban, on the poor side of town, north central Connecticut.
If we "accidentally" touch a boy, it was. " hey! what are you, a MOE?' What the F**** is a MOE? they never told me, but I continued to wonder. or, the big one, " Did your father ever F**** your mother?" An easy one you say? If you know what F**** means, but not ME at that age. No I never even knew there was such a concept. We hadn't got to that page in that catholic book, "How to explain SEX to your boys"
This is a little bit of the atmosphere I grew up in, get the picture?
Some of us are so fascinated by the ladies and especially their clothing. How soft, black wool skirt, taffetta lining, and when left alone, a beeline is made for that skirt, dig? Oh, to feel that skirt so soft on your body is absolute ecstasy, like your in heaven, and nothing can replace that, not even the wrath of god can make me stop. I also feel that I can be a "friend" to the ladies in a way that their husbands or boyfriends know not of, and in this way I am not a threat to their husband, for I am LIKE one of the "girls." I know, I am always stuck chatting with the ladies, I feel shunned by the men at times, even if trying to be interested in their sports. What if I spent that time upstairs dressing and THEN came down and seduced them?
So, would I be considered a "bottom" or a "top" I don't seem to feel one way or another, sometimes a "top" and other times a "bottom"
So, it is like, do we know ourselves, right...... Do we doubt ourselves, another YES........ should we, NO, a thousand times NO!!!
It's interesting to me that at 62 years old, that I am the daughter in the family. The daughter they didn't know they even had, and if brought up this way, mother will deny it, for she was sure she had a male baby. They do not know how right I am, ha, ha. Mother has her wits, because she had to deal with witless Father, all her life.
She is the only one that I could even attempt to come OUT to, My Father would never understand, or know what it is, he would laugh ha ha ha ha. So, no worries there, the devil in me as thought of showing up stairs one evening dressed as a female nurse, what would he say? he'd "think" there was another woman in the house. I just don't want to scare them, chicken me, what harm would it do, bring some cheer into the house?
Today, this would not be a real problem, or maybe it would, We, know so much or "think" we know. The 50's were a time that we didn't talk about these things even in school, we went there ignorant, came out ignorant. The little "leave it to beaver" generation, middle class suburban, on the poor side of town, north central Connecticut.
If we "accidentally" touch a boy, it was. " hey! what are you, a MOE?' What the F**** is a MOE? they never told me, but I continued to wonder. or, the big one, " Did your father ever F**** your mother?" An easy one you say? If you know what F**** means, but not ME at that age. No I never even knew there was such a concept. We hadn't got to that page in that catholic book, "How to explain SEX to your boys"
This is a little bit of the atmosphere I grew up in, get the picture?
No comments:
Post a Comment